Richard Lack's Blog

Tunbridge Wells parking pinheads

As one who regularly parks at High Brooms station in the mornings, I feel some sympathy for residents in the area who experience difficulty at the expense of us lazy selfish commuters. I live next to a park in Tunbridge Wells and often find it a problem to pull up outside my home. When this happens I remind myself during the two minute stroll back from the car that the park has been there for over a hundred years, and like High Brooms station, it is a public amenity requiring access by car owners. It should not come as a surprise to me that people continue to use something that was there long before I bought my house.

Next time I go house hunting I might prioritise off-road parking, but until then I’m content to share parking spaces on the public roads with other people who have an equal right to be there. Unfortunately Sally Morrow of Clifton Road wishes to resort to resident parking permits to solve her problem. This is a shame because it confers ownership of the public roads on householders who do not own parking spaces. The only winner in this scenario will be the Borough Council who will be able to charge residents indefinitely for something that would have been free to them if only they could learn to be unselfish. Instead of carping at commuters who struggle to pay daily parking at Tunbridge Wells station, why don’t we ask what could be done to extend the station car park at High Brooms, or better still, to remove the miles of double yellow lines which proliferate? While we’re at it – perhaps we should ask ourselves whether we really need that second or even third car outside our house. Perhaps the kids could walk to school? What happens to your resident parking bay when you are out at work for 8 hrs a day?

Tunbridge Wells is a commuter town and should provide adequate parking around its stations for everyone. I frequently drive into London when I can’t find a space around High Brooms – even with the congestion charge I find this cheaper, easier and more convenient. But the sight and smell of another 5,000 polluting cars like mine each morning could be avoided if we all learned to share.

The Plot to Assasinate Michael Moore

Maybe I've been reading Sun Tzu and the Art of War a little too much recently, but it occured to me last week that if the John Kerry is serious about winning the November elections then he should put out a contract to kill Michael Moore.

There - I said it, and you heard it here first. By whacking the Bush Whacker Kerry will be embarking on an elaborate double-bluff which will leave the whole of America thinking that the BushBaby, tired of Moore's stream of fatty bile; decided to terminatify his commie punk ass. Say what you like about Moore - but he's more use to the Donkeys dead than he is alive.

I realise that in writing this I now have the attention of every covert agency and listening post in the Western World as the man who hatched the plot to kill Moore. By way of a disclaimer I need to go on the record and say that while this may very well be my brainchild- this does NOT implicate me in any future conspiracy. However - I can't copyright a great idea and just wanted to record for posterity the encouraging possibility that this might happen.

In other news - I bumped into G.W Bush Snr. on vacation to the island of Lesbos last week. Apparently he's in the area for the Olympics. There he was running along the beach with Hummers and SS Agents in tow and the yacht at anchor. I don't know whether to feel pleased or disgusted that we both chose the same place in the sun this year. But it's a shame we weren't on the cliff path...